Bhawna Raina's Personal Blog

We all will get somwhere, we all will learn, we will have experiences, we will fall, we shall then get up and walk again. There should always be a target to reach upto, change when the time and tide asks you, learn to adapt to surprizes and strategize your moves. When you feel you have got there, remember there are more pages to turn and explore in the book we know as life.

The run was not to get to the top, Run is to win in life. My gold might be coal for some, But best is it is mine. Happiness is hard to find, If you don’t know where to go in quest for it. Nothing is simple, Until you change the angle. Everything has a value, That is why you pay with life, childhood, youlth and age. The gains can be tabguble or intangible, Who cares, As long as you feel it was all worth it. Machines can think and so does the brain, Soul feels and apparently, heart does too. Just make sure they are in the right place. It is easy to miss the rising sun, But what if you live for the night sky magic. Value of more will never be enough until you know what less means. Change doesn’t happen, Change is you. You are one that will slow you down, You are the one that will make you lose. You need some light of your own to chase at the end of the tunnel that you have built. There us always a show and you pick your place. May not be enough for the show but you climb the stage and you...

Small or big, Never to miss, Always there and around, Nuisance or fun abound, Muddy puddles. Taken from the memory shots, Mischief and notorious lots, Having fun in making fun of others,  Inviting unwanted trouble,  How can I miss that splash from the passing by car, School uniform soiled, And mummy gets annoyed. But yet again,  How can we stay away, the splash and games, The dry pits and muddy puddles in rain.    Long forgotten, the joy of simplicity, It comes back to me, Now after years,  When sit in front of the Tv, Watching Peppa jumping up and down, Well here we go muddy puddles, Gear up in gum boots,  The shinning eyes,  She looks at me and goes, " Mummy lets have a go in the muddy puddle". I nod and think, every single time. Nothing has changed, neither rain nor shine, It is the way I gaze at the sky. It was and never is tough, No wave will always be rough. Just remember the time, When same was the spot and sound. It was not the noise but m...

Varied meanings..... Heard the rain splatter on glass, Took me back, Walk to school and chattering in the class, The dark, overcast sky, The smell of wet earth, been so special, always. The paper boats, The aroma in the kitchen. It doesn't happen anymore, I guess I have lost my sense,  But thinking hard, it just doesn't happen anymore. We ride to school, love to hear the rain drops on on phone, "rain water is unsafe", Mumma says.   This is rain for me,   You know rain is a bane, I have a house, so I don't complain.  No thoughts for those who are out, Nothing to eat, rain is a relief from the heat, When it pours too much,  the shelters break,  there's desolation followed by pain disease and death. No one cares and no one shares,   Save it, for what? I don't need too much,   Only to satiate a farmer and not destroy the life. That is the balance we set off big time, Set our own py...

The sound shatters the wall of silence, Dawn adds gleam to night.  Wondering how ironical it is,  Not knowing what is about to happen next and we plan our lives. Chaos that mind goes through, is not new and there is nothing to hide, standing by the door wondering about the deep sky,  just wait and stare far at the horizon so wide.  Isn't it all a mere illusion,  you and I? Mirage as we know, the dream for open eyes. I decieve and smile through, that is is the trait of conceit. As a human, this role I have taken upon me, Because I got gifted with a fragile machine called mind. I have broken it and learnt, Only to fulfill, the things I like. Less to care about those around,  Exploit what comes my way. Failed at time to sync,  What I mean and what I say. Deep is the construct, as I  delve and derive Ever seen the wreakage,  Worth a million when you find what lies at its heart. Valued when intact but treasured in fragments. Dead roots and cripled...

When she smiles, my eyes sparkle,  As it shines upon me, it leaves behind the love. Cover of the dark is never far away,  Hounds me at all time and places. Never to part hand in hand,  I walk my joy and sorrow. Naive I was to think that happiness is all that matter, Only to let it shine, was my hope. And when the storm struck,  I was without an armour,  my anchor was weak, went adrif and learnt to glide,  Simple lessons learnt when faced with thunder and light. I was the richest when I was broke, Fearless, when there was nothing to lose. In the dark corner of nothingness,  I found my lost self. The treasure in disguise of trash. When the pride will be at pinnacle, Thy ego would crash, What doesn't righteously belong to you,  Will find it's place, At that moment of realisation, you will my friend say the grace.

It lasted for a fraction,  But I my heart still twinkles, I have cried all night, Missing your light, That smile. It was a silent expression, But worth a best seller, Oh! How can I value thee,  That smile. The sorrow of love and life concealed in that segment, That face to remember, I can still dream of it and wake up from my slumber, When I think of that night, When your smile was mystical, I feel my heart shudder of that enigma that isn't still over. Nah, that smile. It would kill with a riddle, a puzzle that lasted forever. When I was alone, I heard you, there you were with a stranger, But it made me feel alive, Oh baby, with your little bunny toy you smiled.  My wounded soul found some joy on the lips of a tiny stranger, Who waved me goodbye. The promise of that smile, pulled me out. I stood back and ...smiled. I knew behind that smile, is a flood that you hide,  Betryal, hatred and defeat, all are just the traces in walk of life, But your stunning smile wins the...

Towards the pinnacle,  I had decided to walk. There I saw the conquest of land, people and mind. They were the shackles of power and slander Fortune and colour,  language and justice, Bais and opportunity. Not one but all in the mad race, Love, ethics, origin had no trace. The balance I was carrying got heavier enough to carry on one end, Trying hard I saw it run out like sand,  I saw disease, poverty, hunger,  Slavery and misery,  My image of garden broke,  There was vast expsnse of ruin and deceit,  Liberty was becoming an expensive deal. Will the fog ever clear,  The crying eyes will see the cheer, The day the sun rises that way,  The horizon will glow in aura of independece. There have been die hard fans of place we call our haven,  Many have gone but many will appear. I will keep the lamp buring till wake of that dawn.

Her light was luminscent, A shade to the weary soul, A shoulder to the weeping eyes, Grace and modesty was exemplary,  Oh! That poise was incredible. The mirror reflected, the real She, She who talked business,  Her silence was her weapon, not to mistake it for her weakness,  Belief those eyes showed, could give a fearless glare too,  The tone was high,  And she knew to make you chew your words if she chose. She was her own end in the beginning. She could give and had learnt to earn. In her own fury she would just burn, Little aware,but that ignorance was her guiding light, Not after the books, she was a student of lessons of life.  Was she a mystery,  Yet to be found. It is not me or you, It need not be defined. What limits are she hasn't learnt, Vivacious like wind and fresh as morning glory, Mundane was not for her. Living and exploring keeps her going on. Force of life and the life force she stands.

Lost self Shining through a ray of light Upon getting close, I saw the broken glass, That crack was threadlike, but, it was not intact anymore. Some fragments lay there, Some shinning bright and some covered in the dust of time. Still so much was there to gather, I had heart for all but not enough space. What to leave and what to takeaway, Each one was a part of me. Never I had a choice, so tough to make, Turning my back, I lifted my head, Eyes were wet and everything was numb. What changed was not the fragments I left behind, Now, it was me who I needed to find. She held my hand, I turned around, “Look at those diamonds”, she said. I smiled and realised, My growth was covered with what I had learned, It was her own perception that was right. Some days treading back is the, Step forward in the journey, of find the lost self.

I will be back before the dusk creeps into darkness, I will be there before the sky is overcast, I will be by you before the water soars and it gets flooded, I will be there when you are surrounded by solitude. You see me as your mumma, I am your daddy too, I am that friend who is always around, I am the your silence and I am your noise. I am the Voice. Your weakness,  Your strength, I see you all the time. I can show you the light and lead you astray, The choice is yours not mine. All is the design, a maze, Keeps getting the deeper the more you gaze. Marvel at this magic called life, It is a balance of sorrows and smile. When you rise to high, I shall pull you down. Lead you to the mark and the destination, Playing with your imagination. You want it all or nothing, Listen for the signals  Stay alive to create the story, A narrative where words are your Voice.

End of the things leads to the beginnings, In the inferno we are stuck, 'yes' or 'no' you may choose to just say there is no mid way. Some choose to smile in the face of grief,  well, that is a masterpiece called 'life'. Taking glance at this enemy of life, She smiles back and says, "alas! you realised" Death is a vital, no escape and no fight. some die of disease, some succumb to starvation, Some become the mute victim of rape and terrorism, Some get murdered even before they even smile, While some die in the lust of possession,  then there are proud martyrs of nation. There is a coward dying somewhere, death for some is liberation from guilt and freedom from fear. The nature avenges,  the animals hunt, and there is no tally to the numbers suicide. Isn't it enough horror to start respecting the thing we call life?

When I look out, I am envious and inspired. I see you sway with the wind, I see you stand there facing the force of air. Still a sight to behold,  Bright and beautiful, Basking in sun's glory of gold. A constant warrior you are, In dark and shine, Whether its hot or cold. The smell of burning wood,  Reminds  me of the childhood, The house of freedom, Sounds of trains, run to the tracks. As we grew, the heart kept going back, The unfathomable quest, Through all the changing art, Change has stood the test of time. So fluid and yet the toughest, It has never been easy to take the deep dive, It has always been fight to stay alive, Nothing escapes the wrath of time. Yet everyday we wake up, To smile, to let norms be, To do what we are devised for, Act tough and preserve our sublime.

Raste bhi wahi rahenge, Teri awaaz ki gunj bhi sunayi deti rahegi, Kabhi aankhon me nami sa, Kabhi hoton pe muskurahat. Wo shikayaton ki fehrist, Kuch tareefon ke pul, Yaadon me reh jayega. Jahan tum chalegaye ho, Wahan hum bhi mil jayenge kisi mod par. Na raha hai mere pass kuch, Na tu kuch saath le jayega. Jis sifar se aaya hai, Wahi teri manzil kehlayega.

For all the time I know, You've been around My pillar, my base, The keeper of my race. I bestowed in you my hope, My reason to be, My focal when there was no scope. I nourished you and  You lead to my sustenance. How can things come to halt in  Fraction of instance? Best of allies, we stood on the same lines I kept my balance and you endured being on my sides. I entrusted my love and trust in thee, I know you had hopes from me. We betrayed eachother, You say it is too much to seek, I only have to say, I have no more to give. Some secrets are best kept, There is joy in not knowing it all, Your sound is my voice,  The parallels that never meet, You are my poison indeed.

There was brimming wealth when I had nothing, I was the richest when my pockets were empty.  Lost the count when I got everything, Missed the little treasures when I started seeking plenty. Realized the extent of being lonely,  When I was a sheep in the herd. Took the road much traveled,  my destination lied on the path that was absurd. No longer my imagination gives me the joy of watching the clouds flying,  I don't see my favourite images floating on the skies, Lost is the time like the water out of the hands. Through your smile, I never read your pain, You never said it, I never asked is a shame. It never gets better, best was, what now gone forever. I may sew the open wounds, but scar becomes your name. No matter where we go, the quest for past remains. Stop for a while and see what you have become, A running machine and a numb piece of flesh. Taking a step back is not an option .. never, But pause, breathe, close your e...

The destroyer and creator Perseverance is the quality in thee. Nothing can harness the energy that you possess, Nothing can embrace the power you unleash. Thoughts in your head are the fire to destroy the self. Rising from the ashes, the phoenix you are. Falling,rising and still moving on Stopping only to contemplate. What is lost can never be attained but the quest must never cease, You in your own reflection would always know, The darkness of your side And the righteouness will always be your pride. You are not what I have taught you to be, You chose who you are.  When it is time, plunge as you reach the edge. What says behind would never be known.

Opened the door to a new life, Hoping to find moments of nothingness, That nook which will show the Meaning of things, That i have just known, and have been ambiguous about. Stopped to gaze at the horizon Thinking may be the map of my quest will be found, Slept only with the hope of dreams that will Someday become the inspiration of life. I woke to find what we know of life, is just a  Bucket full of bubbles frail and flimsy Alike yet so different. Just echoing, the voices Of evanescent and endurance, Of truth and falsity. It was never easy that walk of difference, I still wonder the purpose of me, In the whirlpool of so much,  I am still seeking that nothingness. Still outside but a strom I hide Fear to face myself is only what I deny, Not scared of losing, but sorry I can't conquer myself. You aren't my enemy, I am my own poison.

The words have impact when they have sound and expressions, Just the words in our thoughts are futile Through the shadows the light peeps And all I see is the disguise and guile trying to take steps out of the shackles but the track is steep Tumbled and broken, chasing the bubbles like a child Ignorant to what lies ahead Not sure what I am yet to find. The pages open and I try to read between the lines In the reminiscences of the past  I see the flash of colour and hear the tinkle of smiles Holding on to the thread while hanging off a cliff at last Let it go and let it glide through, You may rise after you hit the bottom Shattering sound will be the awakening call for you, What comes after is unknown to me and you.  

That lane outside my paradise, was chirpping with the sounds of innocence, There was not a lonely hand, Someone was there to make the sad ones laugh, To keep company to those who were alone. The doors were open and windows beamed with the light of security. There were lies and pranks, but no harm caused, All were friends, who had the time cheat and betray, Always busy to finish what teacher had asked and ready to take over the world with  the bunch of friends. I never had the phone because a shout was enough to summon the entire group out. Who had known the sun will be the same but it would cause a tan when we grow up, Who knew despite having the technology in hand, It will take years to call the best friend. It wasn't easy then, it isn't easy now But the spirit to get across is faded and weak.